Poems for Z - V

That day, I paused, rested,

curled up with you on the concrete floor.

I tried to memorize your every feature

the music as you dissolved into giggles.

I held the terrible weight

of knowing I, too, would leave -

as you, blissfully ignorant, diaper clad

nestled your tiny body up to mine

cradled between my knees and heart.

Your mother would have been so proud

Delighted in your chubby thighs,

your curiosity, your smile,

even your reticence,

your armor.

I do.

Poems for Saimoni and Zi - III and IV

III

A gasp -

the perfect O of your lips

your chubby fingers outstretched

seeking my hands to hold you up

and grasping only air

a moment of shock

replaced by delight

as your troublesome feet,

to your surprise, catch you,

your eyes wide

with shock and delight.

You didn't know, did you?

That you could be so strong

that below the hump of your belly -

once taut only with worms

now layered with muscle and fat

your little legs

bowed but not broken

could catch you, bear your giggling mass

forward, out of danger

and into my outstretched arms.

IV

I tell myself

that someday you'll read

these scraps salvaged

from tear soaked pillows,

wondering how my blood pumps

while my heart wanders outside my chest,

oceans away.